A Letter to My Brides

If you're here, you are likely a past, present, or future bride. Welcome.

I recently had a wedding where I left thinking, "Man, I wish she knew how grateful I was for this experience." I figured it would be weird to write it in a note or text her considering she just had the best day of her life and was likely spending time with her new hubby. Let me just preface that this was one of the best weddings I've done. Not because of the flowers- even though they were incredible. But honestly it was the moments they shared, the people that surrounded them, the intention behind every choice, and well, the mother of the bride and I are now best friends! Now, here I am realizing that I have a space to share all the things, so today I start with you.

Dear Bride,

Thank you! Thank you for choosing me and trusting me with one of the most important days of your life. I'm honored and incredibly grateful for this experience. So many people ask why I'm a wedding planner. Well, truthfully, it happened by accident. Then I kept doing it because it was good money, it was for someone I knew, and it really fed my type A personality. Now, it's so much more than that...one the relationship we build is probably my favorite part. I love getting to know you and what is most important to you. I love getting to know your families and friends. I also love that you consider me the expert (this doesn't happen for me often)!!

What some people don't realize is that wedding planning is always challenging, ever-changing, and I am always on call- why? Because my most important job as your wedding planner is to support you. Regardless if you have a planner or not, the process is stressful. It's a day you've looked forward to your whole life. You are the center of it all. And well, it's expensive. So no matter what I do, no matter how much I communicate or prep you, there will be things that make you anxious- whether it's your dress, the cost of linens, or your future mother-in-law's opinion of the flowers.

It's challenging because I have to navigate vendors, your ideas, his ideas, maybe your mom's ideas, the budget, and try to give you the vision of the wedding you pinned that likely cost $100k on a $40k budget. And don't forget, the trends that were cool when we started this process are likely outdated 9 months later. I love being the one to calm you, remind you what is important, remind you of the budget, create a reasonable and intentional vision, and to put out the fires with your mother-in-law.

I think the most frustrating part of your wedding day for me is that I don't get to see each of the moments- mostly because I'm off doing other things- but I get to see the big ones. Your future hubby seeing you for the first time (this one is my favorite), your mom watching you from a distance with tears in her eyes and a smile on her face, your dad realizing how fast time went by just before you walk down the aisle, and your smile at the end of the night.

This is the moment where all the thank you's are said, the goodbyes are quick, and you get to walk away from it all (don't worry, I'll clean up). That moment makes the 9+ months of planning, the six billion questions from your mother-in-law, the back-and-forth emails with vendors, and the 17-hour day on my feet so incredibly fulfilling. Did things go perfect? Hopefully so, but maybe not. Did you know? I hope not, but maybe so because let's be honest, I've over communicated with you for 9+ months so I'm obviously telling you the champagne glasses were not delivered. No worries though, we've built a strong foundation of trust, and I'm about to send my husband to pick them up, and I'll write an email about it later.

As you move forward into this huge, beautiful new chapter of your life, I want you to carry with you the joy and love that surrounded you on your wedding day. The journey we took together to create this day was filled with laughter, maybe a few tears, and countless moments of anxiety, excitement, and anticipation. It was all worth it to see your happiness and to know that I played a small part in such a monumental moment.

Remember, your wedding day is just the beginning. The love, patience, and teamwork that went into planning this day are the same qualities that will sustain your marriage. Cherish each other, support each other, and always find reasons to celebrate the love that brought you to this day. Remember there are going to be good days, bad days, and all the days in between. Be ready for change, compromise, frustration, desire, endless lists, long talks on the patio, big decisions, loss, and to constantly being choosing each other. No one can prepare for marriage. It is challenging, ever-changing, and you are always on call. But amidst all of that, there are countless moments of bliss.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for allowing me to be part of your day. It has been an honor and a privilege, and let's get coffee soon!

With warmest wishes,

Kasarah

Your Past, Present, or Future Wedding Planner

**Disclaimer: My mother-in-law is actually incredible, so no actual mother-in-laws were harmed in the making of this blog.